A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt. Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. A doctor has come to see one of his patients in a hospital. “OOPS!”, “Mom?
During residency, I got paged at 3AM to the SICU. Someone answers. He asks the doctor, "Where am I doctor." After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator.
I wouldn't know, I'm just the drone operator. First,he needs to know what's the worst. She touched her nose and it hurt. “But it costs just as much.”, Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling.
The doctor then uses a little more force and smacks the baby's bottom harder but still nothing. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him. “Will I be able to play the piano when these bandages come off?” “I don’t see why not,” replies the doctor. Moishe was put into a hospital with a confirmed case of Coronavirus, and so, is obviously quarantined. “That’s funny,” says the man.
All the women compliment me on my 12 inch penis and I've slept with well over 5,000 women.”.
He asked if they were willing to try it out. I had just finished taking care of one of my patients and had moved to the next patient, when this lady ran up to me. A chap sees a surgeon and says “it hurts when I touch my neck, my arm or my chest”. You Would Have Thought The Same This is a real story submitted to a Reddit board: My favorite is a true story.
The responder asks, "Is this her first child? Wife: I barely got here. “No!” She replied. I work in a hospital giving tours to children. Finally, I got on the intercom and said softly but firmly, “All right, Johnny, it’s time to go to sleep now.” There was quiet in the room, and then he said, “OK, God, I will.” I didn’t hear a peep from him until late the next morning. She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt. The doctors said that his condition was stable. When he wakes up in the hospital, he is very disoriented. So far they'd been very impressed with the hospital, especially the bedside manner of the staff. ", “Son, please. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. The doctor says, “have you seen a psychiatrist?” The man says “no, just a werewolf”. I asked a surgeon if he could give me something for my liver, he gave me half a pound of onions. “Wow, you must be a very brave girl!
“I don’t know,” he said.
Complications arose when the IV was issued to bed #4.
Click here for more information. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. She came into his room and announced, "I have to take your temperature." "Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that.". and he said "Oh, we set them a simple test.
One day a group of kindergarten kids came in for a tour, I showed them the x-ray machines and asked them if they ever had broke a bone? A man was rushed in to hospital yesterday because he swallowed a five pound note.
When he circumcised the baby he took the skin and grafted it in his forehead above his eyes for eyelids.The operation was successful, however,he might come out a little cockeyed. I rushed with her to the emergency room. What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever? I don't know, I'm just a simple drone pilot. I make $800,000 a year, have patients and nurses who have sex with me every hour I’m at work. Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!". He said “It’s just a pigment of your imagination”, Friend parked in a hospital car park. Who stands in for him when he’s on leave? All of a sudden 1 of em fell so the other fella jumped and saved him. But bef. Blind mans quips backs, "I know doctor, I'm the blind one!". The Ultra Sound guy. In the hospital, she gives birth to a boy and a girl. The bad news is it will require castration. Also, check out our doctor and other funny jokes. A hillbilly was visiting the hospital where his teenage son was about to have an operation. A friend of mine was destined to be an osteopath. She loses consciousness shortly after. My local hospital has an area where people very earnestly read Auld Lang Syne and similar poems. You have a rare condition which causes your testicles to press on your spine, and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. Doctors have described his condition as "stable".
She asks the head nurse to accompany her. He found it humerus. There’s nothing we can do.”*, Kim Jong Un won’t ever use the nuclear button again, Her Majesty: "What's going on here? Marge has blue hair, Homer is fat and bald”.
So we're going to give you 3 choices for brains and you can decide which you can afford", A nurse comes over and says to the first businessman, "Congratulations!
A woman gets into a taxi and asks: To maternity hospital, please.. After a while she asks the driver: Do not drive so fast, please, I’m simply working there. The mother is getting extremely worried. He asks "Ben,can you tell me what's bothers you the most?".
Doctor replies, "ICU". He said that if he had known they would provide one, he wouldn't have asked his wife to come. “What’s the verdict?” she asked. This is a veterinary hospital.”. He was too shy to speak up, so the doctor suggested: “Try using indirect words”. Husband was gently calling wife as darling or cutie pie or honey every time he addresses her. The patient has had major surgery to both of his hands. I tried playing hide and seek in the hospital, but they kept finding me in the ICU. where one of the treatments involves the female nurses taking the male patients home and sleeping with them. After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth, Father: "So, how does it feel being a dad?". She will still live for many years! Upon arrival at the hospital the doctor tells her she will live and so will the 3 boys.
And you can have a joke like these delivered on the hour, every hour now by following us on Twitter or liking us on Facebook. During her tour, accompanied by doctors, nurses, and hospital board members, she passed a room with a man furiously masturbating. He replies: "She looks great!
On his way, he decides to call the hospital to see how she’s doing but he accidentally calls the local cricket ground. The first man is sitting on the edge of his bed clutching an imaginary steering wheel and making loud noise, "VRROOOOM, VRRROOOOMM....SCREEEECH...." he's going. “My sisters arm!”, My daughter was playing ball outside, when she tripped and broke her leg.